Don’t you ever feel like everything’s wrong in your life, but you perfectly know it’s not true
You feel pretty down though but you know you just need time to get back on your feet because that’s just how it works for everyone and it’s just a shitty phase
The absolute worst is when this person you care about the most wants to try to help and you insist they won’t be able to do anything and they keep on pushing and you really want to trust them and you both need to know each other more, right? So you let them in, just to try.
And bad luck for you, innocent, naive one, they ruin it all, making you feel worse than ever because you both wanted to believe they could do anything but BAM when it comes down to business, they don’t know how to react.
You told them, though. You told them it would be too much. You handed them the wheel and now you’re badly hurt and the only one to put the blame on is yourself and they don’t even know. Of course, they can see you’re not feeling any better, so you say it just isn’t working and you’ll take care of it. That you need some time alone (when the only thing you really want is staying glued to them forever but you might make another mistake so better be off). Good job, you’re crushed now and you hurt both of you two. What’s another day buried in your bed anyway?
Ah yes. A good lesson. Way to go, dramaqueen. No one can handle ya
I’m feeling bad right now because I haven’t posted anything here in weeks. MONTHS, MAYBE.
I know it doesn’t really matter. Nothing was riding on this. No one was staging a hunger strike to get me to write, or holding people hostage, or sending me threatening notes. It’s not a big deal, or even a little deal. In fact, the word deal should not be brought into it at all. Nevertheless, it’s hard to look my blog in the i’s, especially since it turned five in September and I wasn’t even there for it.
Only 13 more years until it’s out of the house!
I’m like the absentee father in a Creedence Clearwater song and I feel awful about the whole thing. I am consumed by guilt.
I don’t know if it’s a characteristic of anxious people, or if it’s because I was regularly in well-deserved trouble as a kid, or if I committed a…
…. that my stomach will growl like a metal singer in trance in the middle of my english class.
What do you do in time like these?
You know you won’t be able to eat for a few hours and you have class.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO PEOPLE DO?!
When I hear someone’s intestins demanding something to fill on, I will also check out their facial expression. Well guess what, it’s as if it wasn’t theirs. Same reaction as if it were a fart, yknow.
It was not me.
I am so focused on what’s going on the blackboard I didn’t even notice you staring at me and analyzing my face
It was not me.
WELL I WISH I were like them. As much as I find the situation droll, I have a tough time coping with it when it comes to MY dear food-mashing machinery. Or whatever you call it like.
I’ve been practicing my abs trying to shut this monster up. Tell ya what, it only works halfway.
Like you can get out with half a growl, but if it’s a really LOUD one.. It’s embarassing. And you start squirming like a caterpillar suffering from a rare form of caterpillar Parkinson. (Yep. They don’t shake. They squirm.)
Also, you KNOW people around you can hear it, because :
You do often hear other people’s stomachs trying to tell their host/owner « Oy, feed me ye worthless worm ». Which means it is actually AUDIBLE.
They certainly won’t be focusing on the teach’. (Let’s face it, who on earth is interested by english classes. That’s right, only a few. The Chosen Ones. If you’re one of them, I salute you, comrade.)
THEY ONLY SEE YOU WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING BAD OR EMBARASSING! But did they actually notice you found the right formula and did the whole calculus ahead of the teacher? I THINK NOT! For once you get your math 15 minutes of glory, but no one cares.
And that’s probably because they’re too busy trying to calm their stomach down.
Before I face my destiny, let me share with you my all-time favorite picture that perfectly depicts this useless, random text:
So I am doing a bunch of cool things because I’m home alone today.
= questing as hard as I can to get some XP for showing-off and self-esteem purposes,
OR getting butt-kicked in the Dredgion (contains PvP and PvE) because I’m a lvl 48 spiritmaster (SM) with the HP of a lvl 20 player that’s not a SM and some darn good skills at attacking mobs that are 5 levels higher than me (without actually meaning to target them, I mean my brain says no but my fingers just go for it. I know, it’s just a laughable excuse, right?), occasionally earn some good abyss points because I’m broke. Just broke.
Ding dong, vocab session:
PvP: the ennemies are real players.
PvE: the ennemies are in game monsters. Sometimes they’re cute.
HP: Health points. The quantity lets you know if you have enough time to run before you get destroyed or if you’re close to get destroyed.
Abyss points: Points you get by doing quests in this place called the Abyss. Duh.
Because I can’t casually play with my friends/siblings. They either started after me/dropped the game and decided to come back light-years after/were on another server and started a new account on mine so that we can play together. Such nice friends.
Basically, all three cases are (for now) far behind me level-wise. I know the quests, locations and NPC’s names by heart now.
Well I just wish I could be able to recall IMPORTANT THINGS ( you know, physics formulas, birthdays, the cake I left in the oven) as much as I can remember these.
Juuuust kidding, I don’t bake cakes.
I had this one contact who was level 32 when I was a mere 24 and the next thing I know he was already hitting the 65’s. He isn’t a contact anymore, but a friend. Ah, the joys of being mentored. You feel safe. Like, if you’re going to die, you can blame it on someone. But they tell you « no, you won’t ». I actually tried to run straight towards powerful ennemies and get into big trouble just to see if he would be able to handle it. Well as expected, it was fingerz in ze noze for him. Of course: He’s a MENTOR! You also feel useless, but that’s okay because you know what it’s like to be the mentor and you actually enjoy it.
♦PLAYING WITH A GROUP!
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Heck yeah! I don’t always feel inspired. When I’m not, I don’t even try to touch the pencil, because I know I’ll end up with a doodle that will be screaming « BURN MEEEEE! ».
I usually feel like I absolutely need to draw when this overflowing emotional wave hits me. Whatever it is. Except when I’m too happy, I guess, because my brain and stomach and … hair cells are too busy thinking about what’s making me happy.
Sometimes it’s not because of something that happened, it’s just because of a song that moved me, or a movie, or an anime.
It’s weird how seemingly insignificant things can change your mood just like that.
These days I’m drawings hands. I don’t know why, nor where it came from, but I’m enjoying it so far. It’s nice to try new things sometimes. (Don’t you hate nonsense positive sentences like that? because I do)
WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE CIGARETTE
Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso, translated as « Your Lie In April ». (yes, it always looks cooler in Capital Letters.) I don’t know why they translated it like this, but even if it’s the most accurate translation possible (I don’t speak japanese) I don’t like it. Don’t ask me why, I just don’t. It sounds awkward.
Alright. I didn’t finish it yet and I’m no good when it comes to reviews, so I’m not going to do one.
But I’ll say one thing: It involves PARENTS at some point and OF COURSE, a dash (a dash, really?) of SADNESS. (= drama and forced affection towards the heroes because the characters are suffering but not telling anyone. #justanimethings. )
THESE TWO ELEMENTS ARE A NO-GO FOR ME!
I thought I was immuned thanks to Clannad (my first anime and first scar. It still hurts to this day.) and I still firmly believe that no anime could crush my heart like Clannad did, but Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso (CJZEDJOZEJ) did make me shed a squirrely tear.
I’m not sure I’ll be able to finish it without having my mom asking me if I feel sad because I forcibly broke up with someone because they died.
I also did the laundry and the dishes.
I just ran out of inspiration and after a first read, this article is terrible, but honestly, this blog is more of a record of nonsense things for me to read in the future and think « whoa, this is terrible. »
Once there lived a happy village of little people–people so little they weren’t bigger than the grains of sand on the seashore. This happened a long time ago in a time nobody can remember now except me, but this little tale nevertheless happened–as sure as the little hand of the clock moves as I speak–and I tell it to you now before I lose its beautiful memory like the unfortunate others.
In this little town of little people lived a little, simple man who fell in love with the most beautiful little woman in the village. To say that the gap between the two was heaven and earth would be cliche but it’s nonetheless accurate, for the little man had little to nothing in life and the little beautiful woman had plenty of beautiful things besides her beautiful face.