…. that my stomach will growl like a metal singer in trance in the middle of my english class.
What do you do in time like these?
You know you won’t be able to eat for a few hours and you have class.
WHAT IN THE WORLD DO PEOPLE DO?!
When I hear someone’s intestins demanding something to fill on, I will also check out their facial expression. Well guess what, it’s as if it wasn’t theirs. Same reaction as if it were a fart, yknow.
It was not me.
I am so focused on what’s going on the blackboard I didn’t even notice you staring at me and analyzing my face
It was not me.
WELL I WISH I were like them. As much as I find the situation droll, I have a tough time coping with it when it comes to MY dear food-mashing machinery. Or whatever you call it like.
I’ve been practicing my abs trying to shut this monster up. Tell ya what, it only works halfway.
Like you can get out with half a growl, but if it’s a really LOUD one.. It’s embarassing. And you start squirming like a caterpillar suffering from a rare form of caterpillar Parkinson. (Yep. They don’t shake. They squirm.)
Also, you KNOW people around you can hear it, because :
- You do often hear other people’s stomachs trying to tell their host/owner « Oy, feed me ye worthless worm ». Which means it is actually AUDIBLE.
- They certainly won’t be focusing on the teach’. (Let’s face it, who on earth is interested by english classes. That’s right, only a few. The Chosen Ones. If you’re one of them, I salute you, comrade.)
- THEY ONLY SEE YOU WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING BAD OR EMBARASSING! But did they actually notice you found the right formula and did the whole calculus ahead of the teacher? I THINK NOT! For once you get your math 15 minutes of glory, but no one cares.
And that’s probably because they’re too busy trying to calm their stomach down.
Before I face my destiny, let me share with you my all-time favorite picture that perfectly depicts this useless, random text:
Should I cite my sources?